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Yesterday was a rough day.

Today I feel much better. Not sure exactly what changed, other than actually getting some sleep and knowing that people are praying for me.

I did talk with a friend last night as well. She suggested I might be grieving. Im not really sure bout that but I guess its possible. Gideons birth and subsequent problems have been a constant strain. I feel like I missed his birth experience in some ways. I generally look forward to a day or two in the hospital with meals brought to me, time with the baby and vistors. I was released hours after he was born so I could go to hospital he was transferred to. I really missed the week at home, that I usually get with hubby and just the little kids.

Lately too I have felt like retreating inward a bit. Been somewhat reflective lately too, and trying to make a concerted effort to spend more time with the kids.

Im looking forward to a visit with an older lady from our church today. Since my mom has been gone many years, and my mil too(I loved her dearly), I look for opportunities to learn from the older generation. I have longed for an older woman to mentor me like it refers to in the Bible. I have sought this out many times in the past and most women are too busy or not willing do this type of this. So Im hoping this will develop into a relationship in which I might learn from.

God is good ... all the time