We wait

We wait for the specialists offices to call back, we wait for Gideons head to grow, we wait for this trial to be over.

I really want this to be something we can fix, like adjusting his bones to allow his brain to grow but most of all I just want to know what im dealing with . The unknown, the uncertainely, the fear, the worry is what gets me. I can look at a diagnosis and start, mind you, start to deal with the implications. But the constant wondering what if its this, or that or the next thing. Or if I allow myself to google a potential diagnosis, its even worse.

I left messages today for two specialists:the developmental specialist my doc recommended and his foot doctor whom I also believe does head stuff too. Im hoping his foot doctor can get us in sooner, him being an already existing patient and at least then I would have something to go on. I at least want an appt on the calandar, even one 6 months out, then I feel like i can start searching around for options that might get us in sooner.

There feels like an urgency to deal with this now; like its something that we need to address quickly in terms of fixing it. Im also aware it might be just who he is, a little blessing from God and while thats not my first choice, we would deal. Again though the unknown just lurks right now.

God is still God, still unshaken, unmoved and still the same, God is good ... all the time!
MJ