Meltdowns R' Us

Not sure why this morning is so different from yesterday morning. But the elation of going back to school certainely has dissapated. Today instead seems to have been filled with arguments, meltdowns and general chaos.

Josiah decided that Zechariah had to remove his toys from his room right that very second despite inviting him to bring them up there last night.Reason: he wanted to play his new gameboy advance and didnt want to have to clean up the extra. Nathaniel decided to investigate josiah's magic kit to prove he was correct in his assessment of how it works. They all seemed to be fighting over one thing or another and it just makes me want to give up. To crawl back in bed and forget that I supposed to be the one in charge, the one that knows how to stop the train as it speeds faster and faster, the one who rises above all the pettyness. Somehow I wonder if i havent missed something in preparing for this role. What cloak did i forget to put on, as i got up this morning?

Today is one of those days that im glad I am not homeschooling and that i get a much needed break from the chaos. Although as one goes out the door upset cause his stuff spilled on the way out, I wonder what his day will be like. Will his day be as off as mine?

As I sit typing, still trying to regain that sense of balance, the 5 yr old is tormenting the 2 yr old and I just want to cry. I dont want to get them ready to go to dance class, I dont even want to leave the house. But I will ... God help me.