Sap City

I dropped Katarina off for her youth retreat and I was surpringly sad.

I realize she is growing up ... but today was one of those smack you in the face reminders that she isnt that diaper clad little girl anymore.

Its not so much that Im afraid she cant handle it, she can, shes been away from home before. Its more the realization that the process is beginning. The process of her going away from us instead of clinging to us. Its realizing that I've done most of my process and now its her turn. I look forward to seeing her become the young lady shes designed to be, I just wasnt expecting to be so sad about the whole process.

Katarina is my carbon copy, everyone around us says she looks "just like me" and dispite her denying that claim, its pretty true. But even though she looks like me, she is "katarina" thru and thru. Down to the clothes she likes and the music she prefers and even her like of bell bottoms. I hate bell bottoms :) Somedays I say "Katarina you are weird" and she responds "Thank you mom" like her job has been accomplished. Shes like me in other ways, in her compassion, in her stubborness, and her liking of animals.

She still is my "first baby girl". I remember encouraging her to take those first steps between her dad and I, i remember sledding her down the hill in a recycling container, I distintly remember teh day she went outside in nothing but a tshirt, diaper and an upside down coat.

Okay enough sappiness, back to reguarly scheduled programming.