Marie's Musings

Musings from the mundane day to day life of a mom of 9 to more serious ponderings of the day.

Friday, April 27, 2007

Birth story - Part 2- Gideons Arrival

This is the part thats the hardest to write. Even now, it brings tears to my eyes. The pain and fear are all still fresh to me.

As I noted, he did not look right , nor was he breathing. The one thing to note though, is his heart never stopped. They whisked him over to the isolette and started working on him. Im not sure how much time actually elasped before they had him breathing, but it wasnt long. He began breathing super fast and shallow with a concave chest. BUT he was breathing!

The hardest part to watch though was when they lifted his little arms and legs up and instead of retracting to the body, they fell lifeless to the table. He was alive but so unresponsive. I could not even pray at that point, I was so fearful. All I wanted to hear was his cry, but it never came at that point. I just kept saying hes not crying, hes not breathing.

Not much registered other than my baby is not doing well. The one moment that stands out is when andrew said "look at me" in a voice that was calm and direct. He told me he had a peace, that Gideon would be okay. For that moment I relied upon his strength, cause i didnt have any. And then andrew went over and stood by the isolette as they worked to get him to respond.

I did get to hold him very briefly before they took him off to the special care nursery to get him under the oxygen tent.

Then the doctor checked me over and they finally got me out of the stirups. The nurse helped me clean up a bit and they brought in supper. I was just numb. The good part of this delivery, was no tearing, not a lot of physical recovery pain. It was all emotional.

I wouldnt see my baby then for another 45 plus minutes.


PS -- part 3 to follow as time allows.


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