Part 3 - The transfer

By the time they got me cleaned up and in to see Gideon, it was at least 45 minutes later. I had eaten some dinner(after not eating all day) and gotten a shower.

It was hard to see my little guy like that and he was little. Tiny little head, very skinny, scrawny body, hooked up to some wires and in an oxygen tent.

Some people may say it was coincidence, but I think a little differently. After we got into the special nursery, Gideon began to perk up. We'll never know for sure whether he sensed our prescence or not, but I think he knew. He cried for the first time(90 minutes after he was born btw), when a nurse wiped his bottom. That cry allowed his lungs to fully expand for the first time. He also began breathing a little better, still fast and a bit shallow but they were able to wean him off oxygen. So by the time the transport time from the Childrens hospitals came(they were an hour out) he was completely on room air. His Co2 levals also were beginning to come down and he was responding to stimuli (Daddy tickling his feet made him cry). And oh how much we wanted him to cry. His cry held a different significance since he didnt cry when he was born. It was a joyful sound to me.

They made the decision to transfer him anyway, cause they were not a leval 3 facility and did not have ventalators on site. So if his lungs gave out in the middle of the night they wouldnt be able to help him effectively. Plus at this point, no one is quite sure why hes having so much trouble. I learned a lot later that they are planning on that with the new facility they are building. I wasnt able to go with him, because of lack of room in the amubulence. They had the two amubulence drivers/workers and two people from childrens hospitals assisting the transfer plus the space shuttle as my husband likes to call it. Its basically an enclosed isolette with a million machines hooked up to it, in case he needed oxygen, ventilators or anything of the sort.

They did let me hold him again before they took him away to the other hospital. And a nurse or someone snapped a few photos of us both. But it was hard, every bone in my body was crying out that this was wrong. My baby and I belonged together. It was hard to not let the fear overtake me. Yes, he was a lot better than when he was born but it was hard to not think the "what ifs" at that point. The transplant team from childrens was excellent. They explained everythign they did, they were compassionate as Im crying hard at this point and they just were good at their job.

So they took him off and I didnt see him for another 2 hrs. It took a little while to get me discharged. Thankfully my doctor was very understanding and early discharged me. She did give some pretty stern instructions to andrew to not let me do too much or to take me to the ER if anything was odd. Honestly my recovery was so good, that I hardly felt i had a baby. I think God allowed that so i could concentrate on Gideon and for that im grateful. They did get me out of there relatively fast, so fast I didnt get any of the prescriptions i neeeded. No pain meds, stool softener or the prescription med i take to control seizures after delivery. Thankfully that wasnt too big of an issue. I managed iwth some aspirin from a kind nurse and ibuprofen my uncle brought in the next night. Other than that, i didnt have any other pain meds.

So we took off in the van. I didnt want to call anyone. Its a lot easier sharing good news than bad at times like this. I was so emotionally a wreck, that I couldnt talk to anyone or do any of that. Thankfully my husband again was a rock during this and handled all the details. He called my stepmom, he called everyone that needed to be called that night.

When we got there, I was sorta panicked inside that something happened on the way. But he was in an open isolette/warmer with multiple wires attached to him. I cannot explain the relief my body felt at that point, to be with my baby again even though he wasnt where in belonged-- in my arms.

Part 4 to come!
MJ