Marie's Musings

Musings from the mundane day to day life of a mom of 9 to more serious ponderings of the day.

Sunday, December 07, 2008


Papa is my mothers father and my favorite grandfather. Im extremely close to him. I lived with him for the first two or three years of my life, since my mother had me at age 16. Somewhere along the line, I think I wrapped papa around my little finger.

So the story goes that I was the one to nickname him"papa" and my cousin brian nicknamed "granny" and thus they have been granny and papa ever since.

I mostly remember, the times after my mother died, but there may have been weekends spend with them before then too. After my mom died, my grandparents would take my brother and I for a weekend. I really dont remember how often it exactly was, but a lot. I so looked forward to those weekends in which my grandparents infused love into us. I often wonder, as I look back, if they were trying to make up for mom being gone, either way they plain just loved us. They would give us little gifts or somtimes a bigger one even and tell us not to tell the other grandkids. We would take many trips to places around -- a cave in iowa, wisconsin dells, dairy queen and even jelly stone park. Those stick in my mind. They would take us out fishing, pack a lunch and we would stay out til early afternoon. I often would pack a book, that I read while the fish werent biting lol.

I got my love of western french dressing from their house. They would often serve a salad with supper and that was the kind of dressing I put on it. Morel mushrooms and fish fry's bring more sweet memories.

It was my papa though that I learned how to play Euchre from, that I got my love of tomatoes from and the joy of fresh picked veggies from the garden.

My poppy seed(another nickname i created) had open heart surgery this week, quintuple bypass surgery. Hes been having heart trouble for over 5 yrs now and refused the surgery 4 yrs ago. He had two heart attacks this week and it scared him into having the surgery done. Papa came thru okay and is starting on the long road to recovery. I did have the blessing of getting to go and see him for a short while(not nearly long enough) This is the only negative to living where I live (6 hrs away from my papa). And Lord willing, i hope to see him at christmas again.

They have lived in the same house ever since I can remember. So i know its been at least 35 yrs, but they were there long before i was born too, so likely close to 50 yrs. Its a beautiful house with a big yard and I have fond memories of playing in the play house making sand cakes, hiding in the trees and playing iwth my cat fuzzy there. My aunts and uncles are going to try to talk them into selling the house to get a one leval home. I completely understand, with my head at least, the need to do this. Granny is 75 and papa is 78, so with his surgery especially now they need the ease of one leval living. But my heart cannot fathom the change. I know someday I wont have either of them around but somehow I envisioned them in this house til they died. Its hard to picture them anywhere else.

I think how hard it is for me to even think of them moving, I then imagine how incredibly it will be for them. I love them both so much. I hope to talk to them more bout a personal relationship with God rather than just simply attending church.

When I got to see my papa in the hospital, it was only about 24 hrs post surgery, so he was very sleepy. I was content though, to stand there and hold his hand, caressing it and praying as well. It simply was good to be there with him. Hed wake up so often and nod an answer to a question or smile up to me. I even got a few words, he told me "long ways to come". I smiled and said anything for my papa. Even now my heart longs to be near him. I simply cant just abandon my immediate family to stand at his bedside as much as i long to. So I do what i can do from long distance, pray a lot, and make phone calls. Im waiting for the time when he feels up to talking a little on the phone too. For now, I enjoy my talks with granny, whom I love as much as papa.

I try to quiet the cry of my heart with the thought that we are traveling in two and a half weeks to visit for christmas. Even if that side of the family decides not to host christmas, I will get to see papa, either in the hospital or his home or at his short care facility. Its already been decided that granny will not be hosting christmas for obvious reasons. Now its trying to find another suitable location, all with the understanding that no one really knows yet when papa will get out, how long the recovery will be etc.

I miss my papa!



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