How

Sometimes I find it increasingly hard just to sit back and trust God. I know , in my head at least, that he hasnt failed us yet. He has always provided. Yet I come upon a new situation and my first inclination is to fear and fret and worry. Why is that? How do i get the knowledge from my head to my heart?

Somedays, i just simply remind myself of the times he has provided. Most recently with the freezer, the dryer and some boxes of cereal. Did I know that Diane would have a freezer in her basement for us-- no. Did I know that my friends would have a 2nd dryer for us -- no. Did i know Stan would find cereal on sale and give it to us -- no. So just cause i dont "see" what the provision is or how its coming, why do i still doubt?

Im not so sure its as simple of an answer as lack of faith. Although that is part of it. Part of it is looking ahead and not seeing the answer. Knowing that 200 dollars a month really isnt enough for food, knowing that the ultilities bills will go up due to winter, knowing birthdays and holidays are coming up. The list goes on and on. Part of it is IM tired, and its much easier to delve down into despair when you are lacking on sleep.

I do know that God will provide, whether its thru more parttime work for andrew, whether its thru anounymous gifts, whether its thru more daycare work for me, whether its thru some way I havent even dreamed of. Its the in between time that I need to work on, the trusting and waiting.

God is good ... all the time!
MJ