Marie's Musings

Musings from the mundane day to day life of a mom of 9 to more serious ponderings of the day.

Wednesday, August 22, 2007

Moving target

I have made some progress with getting the specialists to see Gidoen sooner. It seems though like a moving target, just after I put the appts on the calandar, they call back and change it to another date. Or tell me they will have to call me back after they check with so and so. Thats aggravating. So I try to call often but not every day to check on the status, with this type of stuff,you have to be diligent to get anywhere.

As it stands, he now has an appt wiht Dr. Wood sept 7, a full week later than I was told he could be seen. But i had them make the actual appt, until I can speak to the other worker today that said we could get in sooner. The developmental one isnt even on the calandar but they have been bantering around sept 25. The deal there is someone has two appt slots booked,they are hoping that patient cancels out the 25th, leaving room for Gideon. So keep praying that the spots open up quickly.

While we dont know whats wrong, its becoming more obvious that something is. He doesnt respond as the other kids have. He smiles and coos and talks when you interact with him but other times he just seems in a daze. So I have been struggling with how do I respond to acquantices that ask after the baby. People that I really dont know at all but know that we had a baby a few months ago. It feels disingenious to say hes fine when hes not. It feels ambigious to say we are dealing with health concerns. I mean, most people arent expecting me to say, well his head didnt grow in the last two months. Yet that is truth and what is consumign our thoughts these days. I tend to be fairly open in our struggles and thats likely the cause of my discomfort. I expect most people arent interested in hearing the bad;people that arent in our lives on an every day basis. On the other hand, Im not sure I can just act like nothing is wrong either.

The other thing Im noticing is that I find myself envying other babies nice round heads. Or their progress on doing things like reaching for toys or rolling over. I just want that for Gideon too.

Im choosing to remember though that God is in control. Im choosing to remember he hasnt left my side during one bit of this struggle. Im choosing to remember that he knew Gideon before he was knit in my womb. Im choosing to remember Gideons story in the bible,facing impossible odds, he triumphed with Gods power.

So Im going to keep loving my little mighty warrior and rest in Gods capable hands.

God is good ... all the time.



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