Marie's Musings

Musings from the mundane day to day life of a mom of 9 to more serious ponderings of the day.

Friday, March 09, 2007

Frustration Central

Im beginning to think I might have a few extra hormones floating thru my system (ya think?). I dont like to use that as an excuse, although it does have validity to adding a dimension to emotions that wasnt there before. Either way, my behavior, hormones or not, is still my responsiblity. But on to the frustrations of the day, it started wednesday already.

I went to work in a pretty good mood and was ready to tackle the night. Things just went downhill from there, and this time it wasnt the clients doing. My other two coworkers, one of which i usually do like, combined together to be the team of unmotivation and untimely work habits. So by the end of a 6 hr shift, I comtemplated hiding out in the basement til work was over cause I just didnt want to even encounter them.

On to thursday, when in an effort to make sure I was doing my job properly, I (gasp) asked my boss a question. Which she took as license to make me feel like crap since I didnt instantly interpret an generic statment into what she thought was obivious. Enough that I was in tears... that doesnt take much though. I managed to not have that bad of a night due to some good coworkers, who let me vent and rant and rave. They also work great too, so it was much more of a "team" effort that night.

Fast forward to today, Zechariah is throwing up, not sure if its just a bug or one of his typical quick bouts of stomach issues. But either way that threw off the morning a bit. Ariana, who is easily distractable, didnt get her stuff together in a timely m anner. So she barely had time to get out to the bus and had to take whatever gloves I gave her, which happened to be mismatched. Since no one in this house can keep glove sets together, let alone put them where they belong. She was not happy with my choices for her and didnt want to wear them, yet had maybe 30 seconds or a minute before the bus arrived. She then proceeded to throw a knock down drag out full fledged tantrum in the snow in front of the bus and the bus driver. Who very kindly, came out and tried his darndest to convince her to get on the bus. He finally just had to leave. To say I was furious, was an understatement. I felt helpless, i could barely get her to move, let alone listen to a word i was saying. So i brought her back in, realigned her world, letting her know she doesnt control what is going on, I do. She doesnt get to decide shes not getting on the bus or not going to school or not wearing that pair of gloves without swift consquences. Somewhere along the line, apparently she thought she was ruling the roost. I disticntly let her know she was going to school(even if she didnt want to) and she was also going "without the gloves". The very ones she threw the gigantic fit about. So i drove her in, she told me she didnt want me to drive her or come in to talk to her teacher. Yeah right! Thankfully her teacher backed me up in the glove option. I wasnt sure she would let the natural consquence of not having gloves at school(basically not playing in the snow) happen. The two teachers looked a little shocked at the thought of ariana ever being unhappy and i just wanted to laugh manically, cause man at home is a different child.

I was so incredibly frustrated over this situation that i just sat and cried. Heck I still feel like crying now and my frustration leval is over my head right now. I do understand being 33 weeks pregnant is probably not helping my coping leval right now but I feel like telling everyone to just go away for hours and hours and hours. Im not sure Ill get a much needed break due to life. Tonite is my only night off this weekend, so I really need to spend it with the family. That really only leaves tommorrow morning, as sunday morning is church. Sucks ... thus is how it goes somtimes though.

This too shall pass .... I hope!

God is still on the throne even when fits reign supreme at home.


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