Waiting

I really want to do a post bout Nathaniel, since his 11th birthday was wednesday. But I want to do it justice and write when Im not really distracted bout other things.

I find myself a bit anxious this morning. I had my kidney function lab work done last tuesday. I know the results have been faxed to my rheumotologist but the local clinic wont give me the results since the rheumotologist is the ordering doctor. So i wait. I called and left a message and now I wait for the return call.

Why so anxious? Not exactly sure. I know Im not supposed to be, as the Bible states to be anxious for nothing. That though is much easier said than done and has proven to be a fairly elusive concept for me. Its doubly hard to abide by when fear gets ahold of my heart.

I have no new symptoms, not even a current flareup. The thing that strikes my mind is the fact that with the disease-- the attack on the kidney is painless to start. It isnt til much more damage is done, that its evident by other symptoms. Thus the reason they have you test kidney function every 6 months. It was fine in June, now is the first six month check. I have been thinking a lot bout this in the last month as it had been approaching.

I need to remember that nothing surprises God even though it surprises me.

MJ