Well the good news is ...

I havent killed anyone yet. The bad news is I have wanted to! It started out such a nice day and overall was pleasant. I did some laundry, hung out with the little kids, Ariana got on the bus without a peep. The big kids came home next, even then things were pretty peaceful. I was able to negoitate tantrums,fights, arguments and issue consquences without effectively wanting to kill anyone.

But it was near the end of the night that I lost it. When I discovered that Zemirah had locked herself in the downstairs bathroom(in plain sight of the boys) and was screaming to be let out and all 3 bigger boys ignored her. It took all my strength to not go completely ballastic on them. When we got her out, she face was beet red, she had been screaming so hard and long. I instructed them to pick up and haul their butts to bed in order to preserve what little bit of sanity I had left.

So now the house is finally quiet, everyone is settled down into beds and actually seem to be staying there. Andrew is still off teaching his college course, so im debating a bath with a book to read or perhaps a big b owl of orange sherbet, or maybe a combination of all of that.

God is still good, even when my temper flares, he still comes alongside and whispers take a step back and breathe.

MJ