Marie's Musings

Musings from the mundane day to day life of a mom of 9 to more serious ponderings of the day.

Tuesday, December 08, 2009


Im really struggling right now. I cant keep up on laundry or dishes and I cant tell you how many appointments Ive forgotten over the last few weeks. Im just not holding things together very well.

Its clear to me that something needs to change in how I operate, in what I do , in who I am. By nature, my first inclination is to do it later. I do get it much later, but its harder. The mess is bigger and the time to take care of it has magnified. Ive been doing a lot of thinking. I dont really know how to go about changing oneself so drastically. How does one change from the messy monster to the cleaning guru?

Something has to give and fast. Its really hard right now and Im very overwhelmed.

That being said, Im very thankful for some grace extended to me yesterday. I didnt connect the dots and didnt realize until yesterday, that one of the kids concerts conflicted with a girl scout meeting. I really didnt want to cancel it, since thats one of the things I messed up last month. I forgot bout the meeting and had a banquet for my son, so I wasnt home when everyone showed up. Anyway -- I called my coleader and talked with her. Shes just as busy as I am and didnt get around to securing our meeting location (the libary) so she took the charge and took care of canceling the meeting. I appreciated the grace and understanding she gave me very much. She could have been angry and frustrated with me. And maybe she still is, but she extended me grace instead.

Another stressor is I need to pick up something from my brother, who lives 2.5 hrs away. The details dont matter so much but my brother and sil were frustrated that I wasnt going to be able to pick it up on their deadline. I called a friend to see if she could help, since she lives closer to where he works. She, too, extended me the grace I needed yesterday. She not only is going to help, she is going to deal directly with my brother about the arrangments, taking me out of the middle. I so needed that taken off my plate. God is good, indeed.

I still have much to do and figure out but for now, Im trusting that God will give me the strength and endurance to work through it.

God is good ... all the time