Marie's Musings

Musings from the mundane day to day life of a mom of 9 to more serious ponderings of the day.

Thursday, February 28, 2008

Tears of frustration

Sunday will mark 3 full weeks since the sewer flood happened. And we still have not even begun restoration yet.

Today we got news that the numbers and the settlement is delayed til early next week. Im tired, Im angry and Im upset. I have been trying to be positive as best as i can, I have been trying to just accept that we have to live like this for awhile but its getting harder and harder.

Im just tired of it all and it makes me just want to give up the fight. I think insurance companies count on that. The fact that people are so tired, so bogged down that they will accept whatever payout they give. And unless you know the insurance industry, you dont know what to ask for or fight for either. It gets overwheleming really quick.

I hope that God gets glory out of this whole mess but when Im struggling mightly to hold my head up, I wonder how that can be. I want to trust that God will work this all out for good but it is hard to see the forest for the trees.

I finally cried today. I think I have been so busy working thru life and the challenges we have right now that I havent really thought long and hard bout this. I kept putting some hope for the next deadline the insurance people woudl give us. Im tired of hearing oh saturday, or the end of the week or early next week. Im ready now, not tommorrow.

I do know this that God is good, that he isnt changed or shaken by this and that he holds us in the palm of his head. Im going to try and rest in that today


Wednesday, February 27, 2008

sleep woes

For the last couple of weeks, Gideon has taken to waking up several times a night.

Somtimes I might get to early morning before he cries but lately its been 3-4 times a night. To say Im tired is a bit of an understatment.

Im not sure exactly why, Im guessing a number of factors such as teeth coming in, more people sleeping in his room and so on. I cant really let him cry long, since a number of his siblings share that room right now. I hope this restoration of our basement gets going soon!

Off to therapy already around 9 this morning, so no opportunity for naps. Maybe when i get home though. MJ

Tuesday, February 26, 2008

I forget

I forget that Gideon has Klippel-Trenaunay syndrome sometimes. For the most part(at least until now) it really hasnt affected him or us all that much. Sure his foot and leg were a littler fatter, affectionately referred to his fat leg and skinny leg. It sure didnt stop him from crawling, or pulling to stand this week. So I guess the out of sight out of mind syndrome.

While Gideon has been behind developmentally, he is steadily progressing, so the worry has lessoned over the last months. And when he started crawling and pulling up, my heart was so rejoicing for such normal milestones!

Times like a few weeks ago when I learned he will have to likely wear compression stockings for the rest of his life, Or today when i found out that with his wrapping or compression stockings, we will have to wrap or unwrap it every couple of hours(they said every diaper change); I remember. I remember that I do indeed have a special needs child. It may not be very severe and the challenges are nothing compared to some others but all the same his medical concerns outweigh normalcy.

I havent lost hope, God is still up on the throne. I know he will give us the strength and the endurance to help Gideon in the ways we can and grace will be given to Gideon to endure what we cant help.

Its just that some days, the differences stare at me in the face and its hard to look beyond them.

God is still good ... all the time, even when life throws a few dozen curveballs your way.

My husband is sweet

Today Gideon had therapy at the university of minnesota medical center in minneapolis. Not my favorite area to drive and can get confusing with one ways streets and parking ramps etc. So Andrew knew I was nervous going alone today without him.

He left me a really encouraging voice mail basically boosting my spirit. I needed that little extra. I didnt get lost thankfully and parking was fairly easy, so Im thankful for that. But mostly Im thankful for my sweet husbands thoughtfulness to encourage me along my day today.

God is good ... all the time

Monday, February 25, 2008

Not quite as expected

The morning started out rough.

Even Andrew and I had a hard time getting out of bed,and hit the snooze alarm several times. Katarina had indicated to get her up at 530 am, so she had time to go let out her dogsitting charge and take a shower before school. Somewhere betweeen when she told me that at bedtime last night and this morning, she changed her mind. In her brain, she wasnt getting up til 7 and just about anything wasnt budging her. Mornings like this are enough to wish back for toddler days. You realize that at least you can pick up toddlers and move them where you need them to go. 14 yr olds just arent as moveable.

Had to resort to ice, water dripping and some yelling. Which meanwhile woke up half the other kids ... grrr! Finally got her up and andrew dropped her off before he went to work. Proceeded to go about the morning, instructing kids to find socks, brush hair, find backpacks etc. I did briefly notice the fog out the window but well frankly didnt think anything more about it.

So the eldest two are out for the bus, waiting, and some gentlemen stopped by and informed them it was a 2 hr late start! Talk about ironic. Had i checked that earlier, I could have waited to wake up katarina, she would have had plenty of time to get over to the dogsitting house. The other kids could have slept in etc. Oh well .. at least the kids had some free time this morning.

Some of them watched some TV, Katarina went back to bed, couple of boys played magic and Nathaniel spent some time cleaning the garage.

It threw off my morning as well. I had planned on really hitting the housework and laundry hard today. This is the week, that I have 3 therapy appts for Gideon in minneapolis and wont have the majority of my days home this week. So i wanted to plan and cook some meals ahead of time and other things like that. I can still do it, it just wont be as early of a start as i wanted. I cant say im all that upset though, sitting with the kids and drinking my coffee while eating a leisurely breakfast was nice. Gideon is still up anyway, so once he goes down for a nap, I can really hit the days activities. Although I have tried twice already to put him down this morning and well lets just say he is in a mood!

Bonus though , I may have time for a shower before the middle kids leave!

God is good ... all the time

Saturday, February 23, 2008

Its amazing

I just sit in awe and watch Gideon as he explores. I love seeing him crawl now and he is choosing to crawl more often than his previous inchworm technique. Still not very fast thankfully!

Last night, twice in a row, he pulled himself up to standing using andrews legs as his grabbing holds all by himself! I am constantly amazed at his progress.

Gideon is nearly 20 lbs now and over 30 inches but skinny as a rail. So he looks like a little guy even at 10.5 months old. He really is a joy to our family!

A little bit nervous this afternoon. The adjustor for the subcontractors insurance company is coming at 3 pm. Follow that? Im sure its clear as mud. The city subcontracts out the maintenence of the lift station to people services. People services use EMC as their insurance from nebraska. They in turn assigned a local adjustor from minnesota. Thats the lady that is coming out today. Not entirely sure the reasons for being so nervous, after all God still is in control . I guess it feels a little bit like they hold a bit of our life in thier hands. Whether or not they come thru on a reasonable settlement determines whether or not our house gets back to the condition it was in before this flood.

I really hope they are reasonable in their offers. Im not sure how much fight I have in me to fight for that kind of thing if they lowball the offer.

I really have been working on trying to be thankful for what we have. That the kids are okay, that we have our upstairs to live in, that we have each other and God. I do find it harder to be content with less space when we have had more. So its a bit of a struggle.

God is still good .. all the time


Thursday, February 21, 2008

Gideon is crawling!

It almost brought me to tears last night to see him actually crawling. He has been inchworming/army crawling for awhile now. Recently up on his hands and knees a lot trying to figure it all out. Previous to last night, hed move an arm and collapse.

Last night, at home group no less(showoff lol) he moved his hands and legs twice before collapsing and he made it even further today. My little man is growing up. Its especially poignant with all the struggles hes had along the way. Little by little he is mastering tasks and activities.

Even his talking is changing, we are hearing consantant sounds finally. Praise God! We have been waiting for those sounds for several months.

This has been an amazing journey and one I must say has made me rely on God in ways i havent before. God gets the glory for our little mighty warrior!!!


Tuesday, February 19, 2008

The new normal

The last few days have felt the most normal in like a week.

We still mostly are living on one leval, but since its been sanitized downstairs, they can at least go down there. Nathaniel has been enjoying using the open space for his remote control jeep. Zechariah and Josiah are enjoying having a table set up down there with heroscape on it(since the littles arent really allowed down) and they all love the echo it has without carpet.

So when the dog gets underfoot, I can ship him downstairs or send a few kids down to burn off some energy.

The kids went back to school today and Andrew back to work. Im still adjusting to having less space but we are settling into a different sort of normal.

The contractors insurance has the repair estimate. So waiting to hear back on that aspect, our personal property claim will be sent in somtime this week. Im really hoping that the insurance company is quick to resolve this. Zechariah broke down last night, he really misses having his own bed. I think the kids are getting tired of our little camping adventure.

God is good ... all the time


Monday, February 18, 2008

A smile

The pharmacist lady at the drugstore noticed my smile. That in itself isnt unusual, but during this week, I must say smiles seemed far between. Today feels a bit more normal, running errands, helping out a friend, getting groceries for supper.

It wasnt all full with dealing with the sewer flood disaster. And we are nearly the end of the kids school break as well. They will go back to school tommorrow and Andrew back to work.

I was thankful andrew was home today. A friend called this morning feeling very sick and since andrew was home I could rush over there without having to get all the kids ready to go with. We then made the call to 911 and i waited until her husband arrived. From there I took the kids back to my house. I was really glad I was there and able to help!

God is good ... all the time!

Wednesday, February 13, 2008

The waters have receded

If any of you read Andrews blog, you already know that Sunday night we had 4 inches of sewer water back up into our basement. Pretty big scale disaster. The lift station failed that we were on, so basically it wasnt our fault. We are still waiting for the city or the contractor the city hired to maintain the lift station to own up to this and take responsibilty.

Thankfully our insurance at least had enough to cover the clean up portion. The fixing and returning our basment to useable condition, well thats up in the air for a good while. Im praying the city owns up to it and takes care of this with a settlement. We lost a lot.

Our entire basment is gutted! They took out the carpet, the laminete floor, 2 ft of wall and almost all our furniture and a lot of possesions. We have already filled up one gigantic dumpster and there is a large pile downstairs to still go out. Our vaccum cleaner, steam cleaner, air conditioner, all our family room furniture, bathroom vanity, tons of books and toys, all had to be thrown out.

So we are relegated to the upstairs for the time being. That bascially takes our 2800 sq ft house down to 1400 sq ft. Add the cats and the dog underfoot and well lets just say its a bit cramped!

The water is gone, the junk is mostly out, the wall board cut, we are basically waiting for the cleaning crew to come back and sanitize and spray antimold stuff and take the junk away. Then they will give us an estimate on the repairs, whether we do them or not is still up in the air with the city not really saying much on the settlement front.

Someone asked me today if I have hope yet. I said no, which isnt exactly true as Ive thought bout it today. I havent lost hope in God, hes still up there on the throne, not shaken one bit by this disaster. Hes the one who has helped me come up wiht the energy to lift heavy baskets of wet sewer soaked laundry at the laundromat, hes the one that helped me dig thru sopping wet piles of toys, books and clothes. Hes the one who has gotten me thru the last 3 days that have felt as long as a month. So while God may not move people to resolve this for us( I hope he does though) he will indeed and has given me the grace to endure it.

What I dont have hope for right now is that the city or its subcontractor will step up to the plate. They very well may still do so and I really hope they do. But that is why i answered no i dont have hope that this will all turn out okay. I dont have hope that they will own up and help us get our house back in order. My husband says if this is prolonged in any manner, he will go thte city and get the tax burden reduced since half of our house is now unfinished. Im not seeing any light at the end of tunnel. I just see this unfinished basment which I so loved.

I just had gotten it to a place where I really enjoyed our family room, our family was hanging out together down there a lot. I was so looking forward to this end of this week, where the kids had a winter break from school and andrew had taken a vacation day from work. I envisioned us hanging out downstrs together watching movies, playing wii, playing some family games, going to a budget movie. Its really disheartening to have this happen right now and instead we are spending time cataloguing and photographing all the stuff we lost. We are making phone calls and talking to insurance adjusters and trying to live together in a much smaller area than we are used to.

I know though at the end of all this God is still good ... all the time!

Thursday, February 07, 2008


I attended Minnesota's caucaus on Tuesday night and well ... it was interesting. I have always been fairly interested in politics, moreso the last several years I think. I enjoy talking bout who people are voting for, the issues and the whys. I dont mind if someone disagrees with me, that part of what makes it all interesting.

I find the older generation, especially in my family dont talk bout who they are voting for. They vote, in fact my granny is an election judge, but they dont often share their views. I think we are missing out on a wealth of wisdom when they do that. My dad wont even talk bout it much.

I found myself with the opportunity last Tuesday night to become a delegate for our city. It really didnt involve much and not even a real election. They need 10 delegates and 10 alternates and well people werent exactly lining up for this opportunity. So i took a stab at becoming one, figuring I would bow out if it became obvious many people wanted to do this. We ended with 12 and 2 quickly agreed to be altnerates to avoid the the time it would take for an election. The main part of this is making sure we go to the county caucaus and then have opportunities to go on to the other district and state events. Im looking forward to seeing how all of this comes togehter.

This was the first time I have went to a caucaus and I must say Im agreeing with the proposal of making minnesota into a primary state. It took several hours to get thru the caucaus and I think many more people would have voted if they could have just come in and done so. It was much more time consuming than the primary system is.

The other interesting part was the resolution stage, where people could make any resolution they wanted added to the republican platform. It then goes on up the chain to be argued or agreed upon. Perceivably you could actually add a resolution to the national platform. I think that would take some significant effort and the "right" proposal to get there though. It definitely was a chance for people to be heard though.

One statement or question of the night really brought home truth to me though. One woman asked our state representative(who actually showed up wow!) "what could he tell us to give us hope for our party and our country?" I wanted to, but chickened out, stand up and say your hope isnt in the party or the country but in Jesus Christ. Not sure that would have went over well but it really illustrated to me that people are looking in the wrong places. There was even some discussion in regards to the schools teaching our kids about "globel warming" and making them "hopeless". Again thats not where our hope lies.

I intend to vote, maybe even drop some fliers door to door but I wont put my trust in politics but in Jesus.

Thats all for now folks

Monday, February 04, 2008

Days like this

Days like this make me glad Im not Ariana's teacher. She came home with homework. Somtimes she slips under the radar and doesnt get it done but I was prepared to tackle it with her tonite.

She had this weeks spellings words(6 of them), a midyear spelling review(30 old words) and a handwriting practice of 2 sentences. The response to this homework was like she'd been given a masters leval thesis paper. Seriously over the top. It took over an hour of her fit throwing, crying, stalling to get her to settle down and seriously work. Serious attitude readjustment.

School is rather hard for her and she is struggling. I realize that but that doesnt give her an excuse to not even try. Once i managed to get it thru her head, that quitting, napping, or just refusing wasnt an option-- she seemed to settle into working.

The thing Ariana doesnt realize is IM way more stubborn than she is lol!


Weekend was fine

Womens night on friday night was a lot of fun. It was a smaller group, around 10 or so. It was really nice, we ended the night with playing Bible outburst. It was amusing to say the least.

Saturday morning dawned early with the eldest getting off to their various events of the day. So we headed off to walmart to get that out of the way. We were home by 1 and unloaded. The rest of the day was more relaxing:napping, playing wii, gamecube and watching movies.

Sunday was church and the annual church business meeting. Then our family night in the evening. We are up to season 4 of little house on the prairie. I really enjoy that time with our family and I love the show. And quite often there are some good lessons or discussion points in the show as well.

Little off today and whatnot last nite and today. Trying to take it to God.

Thats all for now folks