Marie's Musings

Musings from the mundane day to day life of a mom of 9 to more serious ponderings of the day.

Friday, December 30, 2005

"PIck on someone your own size"

Tonite was one of those moments that you realize that somthing you have been trying to teach has finally clicked, at least for one of the kids.

Its friday night, various boys requested to sleep with their brothers, so we said go ahead. Well little miss ariana(our 5 yr old) decided she wanted in on her brothers fun. That of course, did not set well with our resident "loner" child, Nathaniel. Since his request for her to get out was ignored, he decided to take matters into his own hands. He drug his sister out the room physically and she was more than upset.

Here comes Elijah to the rescue. He maybe 3 yrs younger than nathaniel but he probably weighs just bout the same . He says to Nathaniel, "Why dont you pick on someone your own size" and proceeds to fight N for his sister.

Its not that I want them fighting, in fact I'd rather they not. Its more the fact that its about time someone stood up to nathaniel and stood their ground. Maybe he will think twice before pushing elijah or ariana again. Maybe not :)

But the thing that warms my heart, is the fact that Elijah stood up for Ariana, took that lesson of making it safe for her here at home to heart. Never mind the fact he is fighting his brother to protect his sister ... Still got to work on that, but it gives me hope, that someday maybe they all wont be enemies of each other but siblings who have each others back.

My cousin

I traveled this past weekend to visit family for Christmas. Overall a good visit, albeit a bit exhausting hitting 4 different christmas' with 8 children and hubby in tow. One particular moment is stuck in my head and I have yet to fully understand it.

My cousin is a year older than i am, but because of being held back a year, we ended up in the same graduating class. Over the years, we celebrated birthdays(hers is 4 days before mine) together, got given matching christmas gifts from grandma and the even had to have a joint graduation party. Maybe i enjoyed the togetherness when i was young, i dont know, I dont really remember. But i most defitnely did not enjoy it when i was older especially having the graduation party together.

In a lot of ways, I always felt this competition with her for grandmas attention. Although i always considered her the favorite when it came to Grandma. She seemed to connect to grandma in a way that i never could.That didnt bug me too much cause i was the favorite on the other side.

I really never felt that close to her, although i do remember spending time together running away from siblings and other cousins at Christmas and other holidays. In fact, a lot of time i felt like i had to monitor what i said to her, so it didnt make it way (twisted usually) back to other family.

So we visit this christmas, after having not been"home" for xmas for awhile and I see her and chat a bit. As we leave though, she comes back out and pushes money into my hand, saying use this to eat out. (Tell me what the heck is open on Christmas day:) Then she bursts into tears and when i ask whats wrong. She just says "I miss you" Obviously im missing somthing here. Some connection that i seem to have lost, must still be there for her. There must have been more on her side of friendship than i felt.I still am pondering this strange exchange yet today.

I do tell her, shes welcome to come visit me up in minnesota and she responds you can come down here. Hmmm ... lets think logically here... cousin with 2 kids - age 10 and 6 and me with 8 kids from 4 months old to 12. Doesnt take a rocket scientist to know that its a heck of a lot easier to travel with less kids and older ones to boot. But thats water under the bridge ... we do hope to visit more now that we have a van we all fit in.

Somedays I really wonder what goes on in people's heads.

Thursday, December 29, 2005

4 months and other miscellaneous ramblings

I know everyone says this but where does the time go? I mean it doesnt feel like that long ago that i just had her. Zemirah is offiicially 4 months old today, coming closer to things like sitting up on her own, crawling and even solid food.

It must be true that how old you are is really just your state of mind, cause i still feel like that young 20 somthing instead of a 31.5 yr old with 8 kids.

Yesterday was fun, i went on a hunt. I loaded my new nerf gun the kids got me for christmas and hunted them all down. Oh the laughs we had ... highly recommend it. Next christmas i think we all need guns!

Thats all for now folks!

Wednesday, December 28, 2005

A more serious note: 20 yrs

I dont really like starting off so seriously but half the reason i decided to blog was to get some of these thoughts out of my head, so here goes.

Its been 20 years exactly this christmas that my mom has been gone, nearly twice the time I had with her alive. I never knew her as adult, or even as a teen. I long for her to have been there for me, as a teen, as a young married and now most certainly as a grandma.

I have been thinking bout her a lot lately as i struggle to parent my 12 yr old. I wonder what advice she would have given, whether our current struggles are normal and par for the course. I struggle now trying to remember what i longed for in a parent when i was 12.

I miss her, well to be more accurate i miss the thought of her. I have no idea what she would have been like as a mom to me now. Would she be proud of me, would she delight in her many grandkids, would she have been that confidant I've always seeked? I dont really know the answers to those questions. In all fairness, she may have been none of that. Its easy to glamorize someone who cant prove your fantasy wrong.

My turn

I have finally decided to blog. I know the world has been blogging for years now including my dear hubby but i finally decided its time for me. I wanted a place to lay out the mundane day to day, the funny bits of being a mom of eight and the more serious musings from my head.