A sense of peace

A lot has changed in 12 years, I remember the last time I was facing abnormal test results in a pregnancy. There was a lot fear, anxiety and worry and the extra testing accentuated it. I remember being anxious for that leval 2 ultrasound to get there, and even after they found nothing, the doctors muddying the waters with the "what ifs". Today Josiah is a vibrant healthy young man with a perfect spine.

I know it doesnt always turn out that nothing is wrong, there are plenty of special needs children in the world. But what I cannot explain fully, is this sense of peace God has given me. I dont feel worried, scared, anxious or anything like that knowing that the ultrasound is likely to be in the next two weeks or so. Im not in a hurry for it to get here or for answers or any of that. Its strange being in a different place, a welcome place for sure, but different.

I know , that without a shadow of doubt, that whatever is or isnt wrong with this child, is exactly what God intended for our family. I know that I can trust that he will give us only what he deems for us . What a blessing God has given me in this peace that passes all understanding!

God is good ... all the time!
MJ

Friday Fancy

I dont often post bout work, try not to get too much out there on a public blog but last night was rough. We had only 2 workers on, normally have 3, so that made the challenges even more fun to deal with. One particular client, spent 2 hours undressing over and over again. Normally after 15 min or so, she is redirectable to another outfit or somthing but not last nite. At one point she threw her clothing out the front door even. Finally she calmed down enough to leave pants and brief on with a blanket around her shoulders. This was definitely a pick your battles moment. She finally settled down and went to bed like that, but hey she stayed semi dressed and asleep, so we counted our blessings!

Its the end of the vacation week, the kids now only have monday off. Its kinda weird, after being in a district where they had 2 full weeks off for them to go back already. Its been good though, I think they are annoyed at the little tasks I have made sure they ahve time to do, but the house is pretty tidy, which is nice. They also have played lots of clue, monopoly and scene it, all games they got for christmas. And of course, the gameboys too!

Have a doc appt today, so hopefully Ill get a date for the leval 2 ultrasound. The baby is kicking quite a bit, so Im not too worried bout him.

Thats all for now folks!
MJ

Post holiday musings

Christmas was nice, a bit tiring and busylike but thats par for the course with some holidays. It was nice staying home and celebrating with just our little (haha) family but with that comes then playing all the new games and toys! So we played some clue, yahtzee and scene it.

Wasnt entirely impressed with scene it, could be that I just dont remember a lot of those little details from movies, so I wasnt very good at it. Loved clue, havent played that in years and years, and forgot exactly how much fun it was. Yahtzee was always fun :)

Most of the gifts we gave seemed to be a hit. Ezekiel alternated between Elmo,cars and dinosaurs. Ariana has been riding her broom horse pretty much half the day. The older kids are enjoying Elijahs generousity with his new snowboard, he of course enjoys the extra attention. Zemirah really seemed to like her goldilocks weeble cottage, so does everyone else it seems. The middle two got gameboy micros, and they love those! So all in all, we seemed to pick some winners. Its always a challenge to find something that suits their unique personalities.

Some lessons learned: its important not to hurry loading the dishwasher the day before xmas because then on xmas when you want to be playing your brand new video game, you might just find yourself rewashing dishes by hand; hitting your brother over a game might just result in you losing your new heroscape sets and gameboy games; complaining bout being the only one doing dinner chores might just result in you being the sole one doing it the very next meal and finally learnign that dipping your sisters slipper in the toilet might result in bad things.

So far, its not been too crazy having everyone home from school but much more bustling for sure. In the afternoons, im used to only having two kids home, one sleeping and the other to entertain, so it most certainly wasnt quiet yesterday afternoon. We are taking it much lower key, watching movies, playing games, going outside to play and then doing the chores once a day. Seems to work okay.


Unfortunely I have to work tonite, so that puts a damper on the week. God is still good though, that doesnt change :)

MJ

Tiring thursday

Thanks to a lovely 15 month old who decided last night was a great time to wake up multiple times a night and cry, Im a bit tired this morning. So when the other moms from moms group, called and canceled for various reasons (sickness, busyness, etc), I wasnt too disapointed.

It just means that maybe I can get some of the housework done this morning and still have time for an afternoon nap before work. That is, if i can quite wake up this morning lol!

Most of the christmas stuff is done, the tree finally got its decorations last night, most of the presents bought(still need to wrap though), so I dont feel a need to rush around crazy. Although we are going out on saturday for a family shopping day, but im looking forward to that. We had the kids draw names, so we are going to help them pick out a non toy gift and spend some time as a family, hopefully a budget movie and dinner out. Im sure it will be crazy shopping with 8 kids on the last sat before xmas but life is an adventure, right?

Other than colds and a few scattered coughs, they are mostly healthy, so praising God for that!

Thats all for now
MJ

God is still good...

Yesterday I got the results from the ultrasound and there were some abnormal results. It could indicate a serious chromosome problem or it could be nothing at all, since the measurement was borderline in its indication. Doc is recommending a leval 2 ultrasound, coupled with a visit to the perinatologist.

No matter what this is the child God has given to us and I know beyond a shadow of a doubt, that whatever comes our way will not be more than we can handle. So given that, I wasnt even sure I wanted any further testing.

The last time we went thru abnormal results with Josiah's pregnancy, all the extra testing and appts just increased the stress and worry. They were worried he might have spina bifida and he was born with the most perfect spine. Praise God for his blessings.

But Im not the only one in this pregnancy so to speak, so hubby and I spent some time talking thru what options and tests we want or not want done. Both of us agree we dont want the amnio, which really is the only definitive test that could tell us for sure what we are dealing with. Mainly, because .5 % of a risk of miscarriage is too high for us. Sure its a small percentage, but im not willing to take that risk.

The end result, we are going to do the leval 2 ultrasound with the visit with the perinatologist, but also make it clear that I dont want a lot of "what ifs" floating around in my head. We want to be prepared but there is something to be said with waiting on God as well.

I must say while I was sad last night, this morning brings a renewed sense of peace. I know that I reside in Gods hand, and honestly there is no other place I want to be.

God is good ... all the time
MJ

Sugar cookie fest

I didnt actually count, but im pretty sure we made a good 10-12 dozen sugar cookies. 3 hours of baking mayhem lol. It wasnt too bad, cept for most of the time I was solo, as dh was off doing a xmas tree stand. So trying to keep 3 workstations rolled out with dough, supervising the younger set, and pulling cookies out ouf the oven was tough. It was a bit easier at the end, when dh came in and helped finish up the last of the dough. I do enjoy the sugar cookies, but man they are a lot of work! We made 3 double batches!

The younger two are already jonesing for cookies this morning, I suspect that will be an issue most of today!

Thankfully everyone is pretty healthy here. Zemirah is dealing with her loose diapers, but its slowly getting better I think.

Today I suspect will be recooperation day lol. My legs and feet are still sore from being on my feet with the cookie making. Probably hit the laundry, which can be folded sitting down lol.

Thats all for now folks
MJ

Its a

Baby dragon lol! Okay really its not but probably could be related to the dragon . :)

Its a boy! The ultrasound tech was pretty darn confident and Im futher along (21 weeks) than i have with previous ultrasounds and kids. So that will make 6 boys and 3 girls. Apparently God thinks we can handle the testerone, as for me well after 4 boys in a row, I can probably handle one more!

Poor katarina, though, shes like whatever will I tell my friends, I cant tell them i have 6 gasp brothers!

Now on to the naming challenge. Current one in the running is Gideon, but who knows that might change!

God is good .. .all the time! Praising him in all his glory for a healthy baby. The ultrasound looked great!

Morning all

It seems we are on the well trend again, I pray we stay there! No one is throwing up and dirrhea troubles seem to be minimal if at all. And at this point only Katarina hasnt gotten it yet and she tends to not catch the stomach bugs easily.

My ultrasound is tonite at 6 pm, so if the little bugger cooperates, we will see if it a boy or girl. With 5 boys and 3 girls, my eldest daughter is highly rooting for the girl. As for me, im pretty ambilivent but leaning toward wanting a boy. But she just said I cannot tell people I have 6 brothers lol.

Then my aunt and uncle are coming over to visit tonite ,Im very much looking forward to that. And will help motivate me to get my cleaning done today.

Also need to go to the pharmacy and pick up some prescriptions. Thankfully I think its supposed to be nicer temps again today, so the walk shouldnt be too bad.

Well thats all for now, kids are starting to rise.

MJ

Wheres the calgon when you need it

Im running away ... I dont know where Im going or how im getting there but Im just going.

Zemirah has been crabby all week and in particular today, not sure if its a combination of teething and not feelign good or just habit. So that drains on me.

The older kids have me up all in arms, tattling, fighting, argueing. Ugh ... I even allowed them to go out and play for awhile(its a beautiful day) before starting chores, do you think they could do that. No its so and so is stepping on me in the treee, so and so is going out the downstrs door, so and so is putting honey on the toast, so and so is wearing this coat, ugh.

Katarina is up in arms bout not being allowed to play a certain section in band cause she messed up a fingering. But with the attitude she is displaying there is no talking or reasoning wiht her right now.

I just want the calgon and I want to go away for awhile ... not to work, I dont come back refreshed from there , just tired. But away... sigh unfortunely timewise isnt much opportunity for that to be happening either.

Maybe its time for mandatory naps! :)
Thats all for now folks!
MJ

Perpentual Cycle

Elijah came home yesterday afternoon with dirrehea, and he already had been throwing up two days before, and been declared better. Sigh ... 3 am ... Ezekiel wakes up throwing up, so now hes down for the count.

But if we count the ones who had been sick last week and this week, that only leaves katarina to get it. Thankfully she has a pretty strong immune system and usually escapes these things.

It does get old fast though. Already fighting with the 3 yr old over eating and drinking. He declares he doesnt want to be sick, its boring. Nice try, buddy, but it doesnt work that way! Zemirah isnt liking that ezekiel has prominence over my lap either. She has been pretty frustrated this morning and not afraid to let me know it. Elijah seems mostly better, but I kept him home to be safe, since the school secretary said shes been seeing this all week, kids come back that are better , just to turn around and be ill again. Fun virus i guess.

Not looking forward to calling into work and telling them I cant come in but it must be done. Im assumign my sitter wont want to come and deal with the sickies, so since andrew wont get home til most likely 6, thats the earliest i could go in. Its too much for Katarina to deal with, sooo I get the fun of calling them. Hopefully they will be understanding and not pains about it. But i know we have 3 people out already right now, so its not a great time to add another.

Guess will have to try to make a blessing out of staying home tonite, at least for part of the night~

God is still good ... all the time!
MJ

Off to school

Thankfully everyone is pretty much healthy today and I can send them off to school. Zemirah is still dealing with a bit of fun diapers, but overall is pretty good. Shes back to eating and playing normal now, so im thankful for that!

Overall not too bad of a day yesterday, got thru a ton of laundry, probably a good 8 loads. Unforutnely Im way behind but Im hoping for another productive laundry day today and maybe we will get ahead a bit. Although i have to work today, always puts a bit of damper on the day :)

My aunt and uncle are visiting this friday, Im looking forward to seeing them again. They only live an hour away, but somtimes schedules and just plain busyness keep visits from occuring.

Boys are unusually hyper this morning, will make me a little bit more grateful when they walk off to school today!

Thats all for now folks!
MJ

Ick!

We have 3 sick now, Nathaniel and Elijah both threw up at school and by all appearance, i think Josiah is next. He fell asleep on the couch and still is, not very typical for the rambunctous one. Thankfully, Zemirah appears on the mend, but I thought that Saturday too. Shes drinking at least, eating crackers and nibbling peanut butter sandwiches. Crossing my fingers at least.

I know part of it , is lack of sleep, but the fighting and whining are getting to me. Then one of them, whom will remain unnamed, threw up literally right in front of the bathroom on the carpet in the hallway. One step further and he would have thrown up on the tile floor, 5 feet further and he would have made it to the toilet. Heck the sinks were within 2 ft. grrr...

Its going to be a long week, not sure what to do bout work, its not as easy for andrew to get time off right now with his new job, dont have a lot of sitters who are willign to take sick kids or ones exposed even. I already know we are short handed with two other employees out sick and one gone for a funeral, since they already called and wanted to know if I could pick up any hours. Im thinking um ... no ... not even sure i can do my own let alone anyone elses.

Guess will just have to pray for a massive healing and killing of germs! God is still good ... all the time

MJ

Sick baby and lack of sleep

Zemirah seems to have caught a flu blug of some sort, but thankfully its not a full blown one. She started throwing up friday night,seemed somewhat better on saturday(no throwing up at least). Out of sorts on sunday, no fever or throwing up, but she fell asleep during church and just was plain unhappy and not well. She ended up with some dirrehea and throwing up again last nite, good thing i keep her out of sunday school. That was bout 11 pm, so a bath and some snuggling, got her back to sleep. But she was up at again at 4, 5, 530, 6, so im a bit tired.

Thankfully no work today, otherwise it might be kinda tough. I should be able to catch a nap this afternoon with Ezekiel and redeem some of the lost sleep. Hopefully zemirah will start being on the mend soon. Kind of an odd illness, where she isnt throwing up all the time, or just completely miserable but not quite herself either.

I worked last night, in order to get Ezekiels birthday off next weekend. While i dont particularly enjoy working both weekends, even though its only 1 day out the two, Ill be glad to be home with him on his birthday. I know he probably wouldnt really realize but I would and thats what matters.

Todays adgenda includes, laundry, napping, laundry, napping lol. Okay maybe some diaper changes and dishes too!

Thats all for now folks!
MJ

Well..

I was looking forward to a full day and evening at home, nothing to do , other than kiddos and housework but it wasnt to be. Yes, i could have said no, but a coworker and someone i consider a friend asked me to work tonite. She is in severe pain and is trying to get her doctor to do something bout today not several years from now. So since i didnt have plans, Im going in for her. Not all bad, pads hte check a bit and gives a few more hours. Im just glad i can do a little bit to help her, its hard hearing how much pain she is in and cant do anything to help her.

I am praying for her and I hope she can make headway with her doc today. In the meantime, Im going to adjust to going in to work this afternoon!

God is good ... all the time!
MJ

Hard stuff

I guess looking back, i could sense something was amiss with school and Josiah. I probed a bit, but I guess I just wasnt asking the right questions or its gotten worse. He admitted to us that kids have been picking on him, moreso bullying him. He actually said a kid punched him in gym the other day and that the one kid kept messing up his locker combo over and over. So i suppose its a bit of little stuff and big stuff, either way, not okay in my book.

He broke down in tears saying he didnt want to tell the teachers cause he thought it would make the bullying worse. Its here where I dont know quite what to do. I know we have to talk to the school, but i also know that getting teachers involved doesnt always help either. Why must kids be so mean? It made me cry to listen to it tonite, and listen to how tormented he has been.

We have noticed an underlying anger that boils over quite often lately. This is probably a good part of it, as well as puberty raising its ugly head.

I just pray that the Lord give me wisdom in figuring out how to help him weather thru this.

MJ

I love it!

I decided to pull out the christmas decoration boxes tonite and do a bit of decorating. We dont have a ton of things, but a few to make it festive. Each year I try to add to the collection, often buying stuff after Christmas on clearance. The best part of this is not remembering what I all bought, so when I open the boxes, its like christmas all over!

I was kinda bumming a little, didnt think I had bought anything new and I havent purchased anything yet this year. I was very pleasantly surprised to find some goodies in the boxes. Not big things,just a little santa gingerbread house that lights up, a new stuffed reindeer, little snowman guy and a minature gingerbread house. But it totally made my night to find my surprises.

One of nicest surprises of the night was stumbling across the little victorian figurine that Katarina had gotten me for christmas last year with her very own money. That was special! I put it a very special spot and will enjoy seeing it.

Another one of my favorites is our russian snowman. We got him the first year Andrew started teaching out at crown college. They happened to have stuff half off that day in the college bookstore, so we bought him as a celebration marking Andrews first paycheck for that job. An added bonus was the russian part of it, as that is andrews heritage.

Cant wait to get up the tree! Only problem is we bought a bigger tree to fit the old house with its huge ceilings and cant quite remember how big. So we arent sure it will fit her in the new house, but will have to put it together to know.

So far I put all of the stuff upstairs, I still have a fireplace mantel to fill up and decorate! For now it probably will hold the stockings and some garland but after christmas , clearance sales here I come! Especially now that i have a fireplace, i really want to start collecting a christmas villege set. I have always liked them but never really had a good opportunity to collect one yet, nor a great spot to put one. But the fireplace mantel is calling , it says put something on me! lol!

Enough babbling for tonite, Andrew should arrive home from school soon. So much for heading to bed early. Its hard to give up that time between when the kids go to bed and when I go to bed, its sorta my time. I did get blessed with a really nice nap this afternoon, so im thankful for that!

God is good ... all the time!
MJ

Barely functioning

Its amazing what a culmulative lack of sleep will do to a person. Working 4 days including 1 7 hr shift and 1 9 hr shift, plus a sleepover did a number on me. I feel like a walking zombie today. I did catch a dozing nap(well sorta) while the kids watched a movie this morning. Now im counting down the minutes til ariana leaves for school. So i can put ZZ down for her nap and lay down with Ezekiel. Hopefully that will be enough to recharge my batteries.

God is still ... good all the time!

MJ

Sleepover number 2

Thankfully this one involves less kids , only 3 extra 9 yr old boys. They are having fun, a bit hyper but then again thats a boy for ya. They even made their own cake, with supervision of course. Our kids are settling down, im sure the sleepover boys will be up most of the night! But thats okay, they are at an age, i can go to bed here in another hour or two and leave them to their shenagians downstrs.

MJ