Marie's Musings

Musings from the mundane day to day life of a mom of 9 to more serious ponderings of the day.

Tuesday, July 31, 2007

Doing better

With libary books that is. We got a late notice today and it only had 1 book on it. I mentioned it to the kids and they actually knew where it was. In the past we havent always been so diligent with libary books and quite often had a fine and books to return. So im pleased that we are doing better.

Have a stack to return today, if we ever get there lol. MWF's are easier they have longer hours than T-Th's.

Well chaos is ensueing gotta run

Thursday, July 26, 2007

1 year ago

We moved into this house!

It was a significant change in our lives;we went from 1300 sq ft to a 2800 sq ft home. We went from a standard small city lot to 3/4 acre with over 13 mature trees. We went from no garage to a huge oversized finished 2 car garage. We went from a completely unusaable basement with a dirt floor to a finished walkout with a fireplace. God is indeed Good!

I had always said I wanted to move out of the city by the time Katarina hit 7th grade. We moved a little over a month before she started 7th grade! Gods timing definitely wasnt our own.

It definitely was a rollar coaster getting to closing day but God brought us thru time and time again. We wanted to mark this day, so its an annual family holiday, every july 26th. We wanted to say thank you again to our realtor who sold our old house and the loan officer who got us into this one. If you ever need a realtor, Rachel Murr is it! Or a loan Officer, David Greene of Bell Mortgage comes extremly highly recommended!

We started our family holiday with a trip to the lake this morning. That was a lot of fun and the baby even slept the entire time. We even took the dog. Now we are having a rest hour, then a big turkey dinner. We will recount the story of how we got here with all the ups and downs and backouts in it. Then end the night with movies and choc and candy! PRaising God for all his blessings!

God is good ... all the time!


Wednesday, July 25, 2007


Gideon slept thru the night again last night-- woohoo!~ Course I didnt, couldnt quite get comfy but got enough sleep I think.

Feeling pretty good this morning, just waiting to see who is showing up for moms group this morning. Already had two cancels ... so we will see. If no one shows, thats okay, just use the day to get caught up on housework, laundry etc.

Yesterday I was pretty exhausted, so I really didnt get much done other than cooking meals and finishing some library books. I did manage a walk in the evening though even wi th the humidty

Well thats all for now folks!


Saturday, July 21, 2007

Sometimes we even get what we want

Andrew has been mentioning sweet corn, lately wishing we could just go get a few dozen. Today our across the street neighbor calls us up and offers us like a dozen and half ears. What a blessing! We didnt "need" sweet corn to live but its a nice treat. What a God we serve, who continually provides our needs and occasional wants!

God is good .. all the time!


Thursday, July 19, 2007

Gods provisions

Im continually amazed but not surprised at how God continues to provide for us. From a freezer to a piano to food on our table.

We really didnt have much money for food this period, in fact we took some of our ultlity money to get food. Even that wasnt much. We had some and I was determined to use what i had, regardless of whether it was going to fit in the weight watcher points or be less carbs for andrew. Because it was food that God had provided before.

I also started thanking God every time I went to prepare and serve a meal. We pray as a family before we eat but this was different. I wanted to acknowledge that God made sure we were eating that day.

I had shared with my moms group, a struggle I was having. I knew that nathaniel was having a friend for a 2 day sleepover coming from a distance away. The mom and her kids have been known in the past to "overstay" their welcome. Quite often inviting themselves to dinner etc. Sometimes i have invited them. So I was feeling very stingly and not generous.I shared how i was not looking forward to her coming to pick up her son, and she likely was going to end up there for supper. I knew that wasnt the right attitude. So I wanted help in being genourous, as I m trying to remember Im modeling God in my behaviors and attitude. She already was going to be driving her son an hour, to stay here with my son for a sleepover playdate, its not unreasonable for her to stay awhile.

Twice now this week, people have brought us food. One brought meat, flour, beans, rice, peanut butter, well above and beyond anything I had t hought of. Another brought two big packages of chix. It all makes me just want to cry.

My utlity bill still isnt paid but Im trusting that God will help us with that too. Whether he provides us the money to pay it or provides favor with them for an extension. The God we serve is amazing.

He also provided thru my aunt and uncle, Andrew and I now have matching rollar blades. Totally a want, not even a need! Katarina also got a big bag of my cousins clothes, so now she has some new school clothes for school. My friend sent me a box of clothes for Gideon. Im still im amazment somtimes in how God chooses to answer our needs.

We also have been praying for a piano for a year now. Totally something that really is a want. But our kids, several of them, really enjoy playing and missed having a piano. And God provided one, free, Praising him in all his glory!

I didnt expect him to necessarily provide food, maybe I thought h e would stretch what we had. Sorta like the provisions in the bible somtimes just didnt run out. I praise him for what he has given us. May we sometime be as able to bless others in the way we have been blessed.

God is good ... all the time!

Monday, July 16, 2007

How can you "not" smile?

When Ezekiel plays the piano and sings, "I love Jesus, and God, and holy and everyone in church" It was so sweet. By the way, holy i think means the holy spirit but he likes to call it just plain holy lol.



I got my test results on Friday and have been processing them ever since. I wanted to blog bout it all, but partly time constraints, partly just not quite knowing what to write.

The Doctor officially diagnosed me with Lupus. The test results came back indicating I now have anti dna antibodies, which I didnt have the last time I had blood tests done. My titer leval, which measures sediment in the blood, went from 1:80(3 yrs ago) to 1:640 now. So 8 times higher than before.

What does all this mean? Right now, nothing immediately, at least until Im done nursing. My last flare up, which mostly consisted of joint pain, has subsided And I can manage that with ibprofen as needed. Long term, is a bit different. I need to have my kidney funtion tested every 6 months. This is a disease that can attack basically any organ in the body, but tends to attack kidneys and livers most often. When it does,its painless, so you dont know that it is even happening. My kidneys are functioning fine now, praise God.

Then after I am done nursing and we are positive we are done having kids, I will go on a preventive medicine, long term, likely for the rest of my life. Or until that one no longer works to keep the flareups at bay. Its designed to reduce flareups and pain and lessen the chance of kidney involvment. It takes 4 months just to start working and its not the kind of medicine I can go on and offf again. So we have to be sure we are done with having kids.

I really had thought I had come to terms with this possiblity. But I am surprised at how different it feels with an actual diagnosis. Its no longer a likely possiblity, its real this time. It wont go away and can cause some serious health issues. I find it a heck of a lot harder to say, "I have lupus", than it was to tell people bout the possiblity and the issues I was having. I almost choke over the words. I actually burst into tears at church yesterday when I asked a friend for a hug. Why it hit me then, i dont know.

Its weird too in some ways, it doesnt feel quite real. I have very mild symptoms, which generally dont interfere much with quality of life. So i feel kinda like a fraud saying I have this really serious life altering disease and then have no active symtoms. I know it doesnt make sense either. I guess Im really just thankful that God has interevened and made it so.

Part of it all, is not having a plan in place. Andrew and I need to sit down and discuss it all. We have talked some but we havent determined a plan. When we will begin the drug, how we will be sure we are done having kids, all the nitty gritty details. So right now it feels like unfinished business to me and its all tangled up in my head. But I do know this, God isnt shaken or knocked off the throne because I have been diagnosed with a chronic disease. Whether he heals me, helps me endure the pain or keeps the flareups at bay, I will praise his name!

God is good ... all the time

Thursday, July 12, 2007

Amazing what 1 day difference makes

Yesterday at this time, I was flying high, supper plans made, house in order, in a good mood etc. Had made it to the park and the library.

Today, well at least this afternoon, I feel barely able to hold it together. Morning was great though, had a new mom at moms group today and I enjoyed the fellowship. But this afternoon, not so much. I didnt get a nap , or even a good quiet time b efore Gideon got up. By the time he went down again, Zemirah was up, boys were crazy and the opportunity for rest had long passed.

I had Elijah begging to play a game with me, Ariana right on his heels and Im feeling like I cant keep my eyes open. I did manage to play yahtzee with him but then all heck broke loose. Gideon was upset screaming, Zemirah needed to go potty, Nathaniel came home with a good size injury and we were short 5 cups of flour for the boys recipe. Soo ... I got nathaniel soaking his toe, dealing with injuries and this child take all of emotional and physical energies. He hates it being touched, looked at, even breathed near. So trying to even evaluate if it needs doctor assistence requires super human strength.

Eventually we get it bandaged up. He wore sandals while biking and lets just say his toe met the road with some resistence. It was a good size wound too.

Things did calm down, the cookies eventually got made(thanks to the help of Gina, Thanks Gina) and the mess cleaned up. But im exhausted and bout ready to collapse. Cooking and supper seem like mountainous tasks before me right now but as always I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.


Wednesday, July 11, 2007


The house is mostly picked up, supper is in the oven and I got out of the house! That is what i call sucess people. Especially with my two eldest helpers gone and a 3 month old in the house.

I not only made it to the library but the park as well! The bonus of that, was a new friend I recently met, showed up as well. So i had someone to chat with.

Nathaniel has been helping out today (had to resort to a bit of rewarding) but hey he helped! he even carried Ezekeil piggyback on the way home. Some dark grey storm looking clouds had popped up and I wanted to get home quickly. The storm never materialized but it gave Nathaniel a chance to step up.

So while there is clutter on the island, in the corners of some of the rooms and most of the house needs deep cleaned; Its picked up and not trashed. I even got the dishwasher loaded and some extra dishes done. Only thing I didnt manage to get to was folding and washing laundry.

Dh should be home in a half an hour and Im looking forward to digging into a libary book I had ordered. I really wanted to read when I got home but since I didnt use my time wisely this morning, alas I had to get the house in order this afternoon first.

God is good ... all the time!

"Real Chocolate Chip Cookie"

The middle boys (Nathaniel and Zechariah) wanted to make cookies for a few days now. Nathaniel, wanted to make them bad enough, he was willing to load the dishwasher and wash the countertop. Now thats some motivation!

They had to find a recipe, find the ingrediants and all the supplies. They found a chocolate peanut butter chip recipe that we had most of the ingredients for. They orginally had thought they would go without hte chips but I had to run to the store for vanilla anyway. They proclaimed they wanted chocolate chips instead, so i bought that.

Zechariah says "Finally real chocolate chip cookies" ;I suppose as opposed to you know fake chocolate chip cookies. I think he was referencing the whiteness of regular choc chip cookies. They did pretty good, needed my help for some measuring and mixing. there was a slight panic when the cocoa ran out, thankfully another container was waiting in the cupboard. Since of course, the recipe had to be doubled! 60 cookies would never be enough. Although when it came to putting the cookies on teh trays, it seemed they were either baking for giants or hobbits.

The final resul: pretty darn tasty cookies!


Monday, July 09, 2007

Something is up with the title bar on this particular template. I noticed on a another blog I read, that the title piece wasnt working there either.

Anyway, the two eldest children are off on their trips. Katarina should be in pennsylvania today and Josiah should be on day 1 of boy scout camp. Cant wait to hear about all their adventures.

It was pretty cute and a little sad today when Ezekiel heard a door shut and goes running yelling "Katarina and Josiah are home". Broke my heart to have to tell him no, they wont be home for many days yet.

The dynamic is certainely different. Zechariah is playing more with Elijah when he tends to play more with Josiah when hes here. Ariana was out of options as to who to blame for the messy bedroom (she shares with K). The middle boys all played together during quietime, so that was a nice change of pace.

I do miss having an extra set of hands to hold the baby as Im trying to get supper ready or finishing up a task.

Nathaniel did a good job taking Zemirah out to play today, somthing he normally balks and fusses at even the mention of. I suppose it was more on his terms, he swang with her and made castles in the sandbox for her to destroy!

Well chaos is ensueing , so i must end!

Saturday, July 07, 2007

This one is for Gina! Just so she doesnt feel let out. Love ya!

I attended our churchs womens night last night and it was a blast as usual. Food, fun, and laughter all reined. It was nice to connect with other women, esp some friends I hadnt seen in awhile.

Today doesnt hold lots of plans but will be filled with activities nonetheless. Josiah and Andrew are off meeting with another scoutmaster, of the troop Josiah will be joining up with. It will be a day of locating last minute items for both his trip and Katarinas. Shes off to washington DC for 10 days. Im a bit jealous of that one;I've always wanted to go there.

It certainely will be different without the two eldest. Quieter for sure ... Josiah generally takes the volume leval up a few notches . Well and the two eldest like to bicker, so I wont certainely miss that. I will miss their help, an occasional bathing of the little ones, taking zemirah out to swing or just even holding Gideon for a bit. Gideon does seem to prefer Josiah and me, he seems to calm better.

But i wont have the daycare kid for at least 3 weeks, so I guess God ordained that. So i will just enjoy some more time with the middle ones. Zechariah is good with taking Zemirah out to play and engaging her and lately all Ariana wants to do is help. So I guess it will give the others a chance to step up. We did to skip over Nathaniel in terms of helping with the littles, hes just not geared that way. Unless it suits his interest, like they have a toy he wants to play with or somthing of that nature.

We used to say Nathaniel was an only child born into a large family. He still has some loner tendencies but Im noticing more and more, he prefers small groupings. He doesnt want to be alone but he doesnt want to be with everybody either. He constantly wants someone to walk the dog with him, or sleep in the same room with him(even though he has two of the littles in there).

Well Zechariah is finally ready to play magic cards with me, so ill end here. Have a happy saturday everyone!

God is good ... all the time!

Thursday, July 05, 2007


Sometimes I find it increasingly hard just to sit back and trust God. I know , in my head at least, that he hasnt failed us yet. He has always provided. Yet I come upon a new situation and my first inclination is to fear and fret and worry. Why is that? How do i get the knowledge from my head to my heart?

Somedays, i just simply remind myself of the times he has provided. Most recently with the freezer, the dryer and some boxes of cereal. Did I know that Diane would have a freezer in her basement for us-- no. Did I know that my friends would have a 2nd dryer for us -- no. Did i know Stan would find cereal on sale and give it to us -- no. So just cause i dont "see" what the provision is or how its coming, why do i still doubt?

Im not so sure its as simple of an answer as lack of faith. Although that is part of it. Part of it is looking ahead and not seeing the answer. Knowing that 200 dollars a month really isnt enough for food, knowing that the ultilities bills will go up due to winter, knowing birthdays and holidays are coming up. The list goes on and on. Part of it is IM tired, and its much easier to delve down into despair when you are lacking on sleep.

I do know that God will provide, whether its thru more parttime work for andrew, whether its thru anounymous gifts, whether its thru more daycare work for me, whether its thru some way I havent even dreamed of. Its the in between time that I need to work on, the trusting and waiting.

God is good ... all the time!