Marie's Musings

Musings from the mundane day to day life of a mom of 9 to more serious ponderings of the day.

Tuesday, February 28, 2006

Possiblities

Andrew talked with his student again last night. Things are looking hopeful and the hiring manager would like to talk with andrew once a few things are settled with the business aspect. So it may not be today but the possibility is exciting nonetheless.

The mortgage person said he would working on our file yesterday and today , so im hoping maybe to hear back today but tommorrow for sure.

The realtor from church is coming by on wednesday, I have much more confidence in her giving me an accurate picture. Its amazing how people i didnt know were suddenly brought into my circle of life. People who are believers. God is good ... its another lesson in learning to wait in his time.

I really really want to move but I have to trust God that if now is not the right time, that another will come. I think im getting past the impatient stage and settling in on waiting more for God. Still a bit anxious but my God is bigger than all this and I have to trust that he has the best in mind for me.

Busy week ahead with lots to do, girl scout cookie booth sale tonite, blue/Gold banquet tonite as well. Doctor appt, dance class, realtor appt , all tommorrow. And fifty billion cookies yet to deliver ... hmmm can i sleep now?

Monday, February 27, 2006

This is the hard part

I issued the punishments to fit hte crimes... its the instituting them that tends to fall short. Its nearly the end of the night, Im exhausted, we havent even had supper yet. I have three kids to monitor slave chores, one who is pushing my buttons. He got sent to bed early.

I have 4 others to make sure they are doign regular chores and all i want to do is sleep. Gonna try and push thru it though.

It will be an interesting week

Started out the morning discovering cayenne pepper in the coffee resevoir. One of my darling children apparently thought it funny to spike moms coffee... ha ha. Josiah admitted to it and then recanted so im not exactly sure which one was the culprit.

Then preteen attitude reared its ugly head this morning. Its rather amusing at times to watch a 12 yr old stomp her feet and insist she isnt grounded and that "shes not going to do what i say". Hmm I suspect shes feeling a bit out of control this morning.

Today also marks the start of 3 days suspension for 2 of my boys on the bus. Elijah's crime was just plain not sitting and getting out of his seat and climbing all around. But since it was his 4th offense he gets more days. Nathaniels was more severe, he was fighting with Josiah at the bustop and on teh bus. Sigh ... Im at my wits end with these boys. They owe me slave chores for every day i have to drive them. And so does ms.attitude for this morning. Should be a "FUN" monday night!

Sunday, February 26, 2006

Its's a small world after all

A friend of a friend of mine just happens to be a mortgage broker. Thats cool but not the really cool part. The really cool part is that they happen to have 8 kids too .. all around the same ages as ours give or take a few months.

So we have decided to apply and find out what he maybe able to do for us or whether or not we should pursue other avenues such as renting or staying here.

So i applied online today and we will see what our options are from there. I think the whole family is feelign the stress of not knowing exactly whats going on and just a little too much togetherness.

Thats all for now folks!

Friday, February 24, 2006

Purposed Anger

I was upset this morning and then I started brainstorming as to what i can do. So I have decided to pack up their gamecube, games, computer games and their movies. As well as any toys, clothes, shoes, boots, and books left on the floor today.

I intend to focus my anger in a purposeful way rather than letting it self destruct me. I intend to not make a big deal out of this. I will answer them quietly if they ask where things are but i dont intend on yelling, or giving them any more chance. I am just going to follow along behind them and take whatever they leave until they have nothing left.

Maybe that will be enough ... maybe it wont but it at least gives me a sense of doing something to combat them.

When did i lose control?

I just dont know what to do anymore. I feel like such a failure as a parent right now. I cannot seem to get my kids to get along at all, they literally are at each others throats:pulling hair, hitting, taking toys, kicking. I cannot get them to do chores for the life of me ... nothing i seem to try or implement seems to get us anyway.

When the Assistent principal calls today again letting me know one son just got his 6th, yes 6th bus disclipine today ... I just want to bury my head in the sand and never come up for air. And that my more responsible son just got his 2nd.

Obviously Im doing somthing wrong .

Wednesday, February 22, 2006

Flow charts

Life feels a bit complicated when you need flow charts to map out all the options that are being presented at the moment.

Okay, okay its not that bad but when another option opens up, and you already have a couple of open doors, you start wondering.

One of Andrews students let him know that his company may be interested in hiring Andrew as a net admin type person. This door happens to be located in the area we are hoping to move in in west central minnesota.

Chicago is still a possiblity, so is moving and commuting to minneapolis and so is staying here. So we are figuring out what our best options and moves are.

Tuesday, February 21, 2006

105 sounds beautiful!

I managed to talk up the 2nd ugly house guy to 105. Woohoo .. thats a number I think we can work with. We will have to be a bit creative, we may have to rent for a year, if being creative in financing doesnt work. But it puts us in a much better position than the 93 offer did.

God is good ... keep dreaming with me folks!

Monday, February 20, 2006

Its days like today when I know Calgon lied.

It never takes you away.

Overall it wasnt a horrible day but its not been completely pleasant either. Did finally get the kids rooms cleaned upstairs but only after I helped and threw two garbage bags of crap away. And a 9 yr old boy who has his pulse on my buttons .... its days like today that make me not even want to claim him.

And nights like this when the kids are not doing anywhere near what they are supposed to, let alone leaving each other alone or constantly bickering, hitting or telling one another to shut up. Makes me never want to do anything with them again. The concept of a reward (we took them all to see harry potter today) seems to escaped their radar.

Even the movie wasnt all it was cracked up to be, the youngest 4 were less than enthused to sit for a 2.5 hr movie. So Andrew and I took turns with the youngest two and reminding the next two to be quiet.

Well tommorrows a new day ... May God take whats left of today and turn it into good.

The waiting game

We are waiting to hear if Andrew got an interview for chicago, waiting for an estimate from the 2nd ugly house guy, waiting to see if potential acquantices might want to buy this fixer upper, waiting for the kids to get their chores done so we can see harry potter.

Did i mention I hate waiting? I much prefer picking the path we are going down and doing what we need to get there. But alas life doesnt work on my schedule unfortuenly. :)

Happy Presidents Day!

Friday, February 17, 2006

Sap City

I dropped Katarina off for her youth retreat and I was surpringly sad.

I realize she is growing up ... but today was one of those smack you in the face reminders that she isnt that diaper clad little girl anymore.

Its not so much that Im afraid she cant handle it, she can, shes been away from home before. Its more the realization that the process is beginning. The process of her going away from us instead of clinging to us. Its realizing that I've done most of my process and now its her turn. I look forward to seeing her become the young lady shes designed to be, I just wasnt expecting to be so sad about the whole process.

Katarina is my carbon copy, everyone around us says she looks "just like me" and dispite her denying that claim, its pretty true. But even though she looks like me, she is "katarina" thru and thru. Down to the clothes she likes and the music she prefers and even her like of bell bottoms. I hate bell bottoms :) Somedays I say "Katarina you are weird" and she responds "Thank you mom" like her job has been accomplished. Shes like me in other ways, in her compassion, in her stubborness, and her liking of animals.

She still is my "first baby girl". I remember encouraging her to take those first steps between her dad and I, i remember sledding her down the hill in a recycling container, I distintly remember teh day she went outside in nothing but a tshirt, diaper and an upside down coat.

Okay enough sappiness, back to reguarly scheduled programming.

Cold anyone?

Its really cold here, near zero and with windchill, -20 to -30 below. Yeah a bit frigid. So I will drive the kids to school today despite not wanting to go out myself.

Katarina leaves today for her first youth retreat. Its things like this that really hit home for me and make me realize my baby girl really is growing up. She isnt supposed to be old enough to do that, she isnt supposed to look so teenager like already. Alas ... since my attempts at making her go backwards in age have failed, I will just have to get used to it.

We are kinda stalled on the moving front. I called another ugly house franchise and asked bout how they worked. And they indicated they could be much more flexible with timing, rather than the first companys 3 days to decide offer.

Well thats all for now folks!

Wednesday, February 15, 2006

The die is cast

Andrew submitted his resume to Chicago today. I think he has a high chance of an interview and a pretty good shot at the job. So a bit exciting and nervewracking at the same time.

Been researching suburbs in chicago today, in the event we move that direction rather than west. Im not sure what God has in store for us, but i know that hes with us every step of the way. And that is what Im counting on.

Tuesday, February 14, 2006

Decisions

Making decisions is most certainely not one of my favorite sports. Sure I can choose the restaurant or candy bar but making the life changing ones are a bit tougher. Its even harder when dh and I arent quite at the same point in the process.

Im so ready to ditch this house and move on to bigger, better things with our family and well Andrew is still back in the starting gate. I have to respect that, God made us different for a reason. I just hope we can come together on this rather than further apart.

Sometimes though you just have to take that leap of faith and know that God has a big net!

Monday, February 13, 2006

Another estimate rolls in

The "Ugly House" people responded with a number today, higher than the realtor claimed we could get "as is". Still not high enough to immediately be able to move, but I think if we crunch numbers and pay our tax return on the van, we can make this work.

God has taken what I had little hope and faith for and made it alive again. Its still not guarenteed by any means but I think we can do this. The nice part if we decide to go with the ugly house people, its a done deal as far as the sale aspect goes and they will work with your timeframe.

God is still good all the time!

4 days

It took 4 calls to the principal,2 emails to the ombudsman,7 phone calls to the district and 1 face to face meeting but the end result is they are moving Josiah to another classroom.

Im still a bit frustrated that it took 4 days to resolve this but Im thrilled we perserved for the best thing for Josiah.

No one should have to constantly battle their childs teacher to make sure that their family values and belief systems are being respected. They not only were not being respected but the teacher was openly challenging some of them, and that my friends, is not okay in my book.

So he will go back to school tommorrow. I cant say having him home has been all that bad, he is fairly easy going and gets along with the little ones. In fact hes old enough to be more of a helper as well.

God is good .. all the time.

I cant quite seem to find the right words

It looks like we wont be moving at all, or at least anytime soon. Im having a hard time putting it all into words, so Im going to leave it at that until i can.

I quite often find when I have a hard time typing or comign up with words, its time to take space,time or whatever I need until the words come.

So thats all for now folks!

Friday, February 10, 2006

I think I smell

No one seems to want to return my phone calls, not the school district assitents, not the area superintendent, not the principal of another school, not the ugly house people nor the realtors.

I have concluded: I smell! Its frustrating to be sitting in limbo, trying to get things resolved when people dont seem to even have common courtesy to return phone calls.

Other than that, nothing much going on today, seems like a quiet weekend ahead... one can hope anyway.

Thursday, February 09, 2006

Too much stuff

We just have too much stuff for the space we have. We seem to have things piled everywhere,on top of the piano, on top of the washer and drier, the closet floor, the kitchen counter, you name it , its probably got stuff piled on it.

So Im thinking its time for a purging weekend. I routinely have a goodwill bag or box for clothes that are outgrown, or not of use to us any further, in fact right now i have like 3 garbage bags full. Still we have too much stuff. I think im going to ask the kids to not only go thru their clothes, but their stuff as well and get rid of at least 5 things apiece.

I really desire more space for our family, to have a living room and a family room, to have only 2 kids per bedroom, to have cupboards and counter space. Sigh ... maybe someday. Right now we are still waiting for the realtor to call us back with a selling price. The longer it goes, the smaller my faith is that this move will really happen. I know God can get us out of this house and out of the cities, the question is more when .

Wednesday, February 08, 2006

Completely Zapped

Its been a long day already, the bulk of the day was taken up with fighting the school over an issue and there was also dance class thrown in there.

Have gotten nowhere with the principal, so I have escalated it up to the next leval the superindentent. I just want him moved into another 5th grade classroom but apparently thats like moving mountains by hand or somthing. Anyway it has completley zapped my energy level which wasnt at its best either thanks to Zemirah.

She was up a lot last night, not really wanting to nurse but cryign sure seemed like fun to her. Im not sure if its teeth or whatnot, but she didnt seem to settle in for the long haul until 6 am, when i needed to get up at 6. Oh she slept some during the night, but the awake periods are stuck in myhead.

So Im wiped out, house is trashed, kids are grumpy, I'm grumpy and nothing is resolved as far as the school goes. Definitely not my day!

Tuesday, February 07, 2006

Fun times with strep

We have 7 out of 10 people in this household on medicine for strep throat. Yes, doesnt that sound like fun?

Two boys came down with sore throats and 102 fevers on thursday. So as any good mom of a large family does, I prepare to nip this inflitration in the bud. I had them both to the doctor on friday for strep tests, both of which came back negative. So we go about our merry business, meanwhile more of the family are complaing of sore throats and fevers... Saturday afternoon, we get a call from urgent care saying Josiah tested postive for strep and I question them about nathaniel, the other boy who was tested on friday. They said, we dont have anything on Nathaniel. Okay whatever. Remember both boys tested same day, less than 5 min aparts.
It takes another full day for the call to come in that says Nathaniel has strep too. At this point we have 5 others either experiencing fever, sore throat, generally feeling like death warmed over or a combination of the above.

The doctor on call was less than helpful, in order to treat the rest of us who were exposed full force to this malady, he had to see us all to the tune of 75 dollars. I decided to wait to talk with our regular doc monday morning, after all we have been exposed all this time already whats one more day.

Thank God for a doctor who understands the dynamics of illness in a large family. He is a fabulous doctor and we all love him. He called in prescriptions for the five of us who were sick. So now we are on the mend I hope. We still have the 3 youngest kids unaffected as of yet, although Ariana threw up last night, so shes not completely well.

There is hope!

Friday, February 03, 2006

Sick Kiddos

Ive got at least 2 down with 102 fevers and sore throats. My guess, yeah y'all know , strep. So I plan on asking for the family rate on strep tests lol. Thankfully my docs office is great bout not always making sure we have to have a test if others in the family have it, they just treat whoever has a sore throat.

Speaking of which, I appear to be getting one ... and Katarina too ... guess its our time of the season. At least we dont have much planned for this weekend.

No news on the house front or the chicago job, did i mention i hate indecision? I much rather would pick a direction and go full force that way. It just doesnt work that way.

Thursday, February 02, 2006

The waiting game

This is the hardest part for me ... waiting and its also where my faith is the weakest. I want what i want right now. But God's timing is not my own and I have to honor that, as much as I want to move today.

We had the realtors come by yesterday and of course they need a few days to crunch numbers, find comps etc before they can give us a selling price. Im nervous, cause if the number they come back with is too low, we cant go anywhere. God has already brought us this far and who am i to doubt that he cant handle selling this old house. But its hard to have that faith, cause i know he doesnt always say yes to the things we desire in our hearts.

Today the ugly house people were supposed to be here bright and early, 9 am but no one has shown up yet. And its already 916 ... doesnt bode well. The last time we contacted them, they came by looked at the house and the guy just stopped returning phone calls. I thought id give it one more shot, this appears to be a different person, same office though but so far im not impressed.

Other than housing issues, and the chicago job, I hope to tackle some cleaning today.

Well ugly house dude was just here, he seemed nice and straighforward. Again more waiting though, he hopes to get back to us monday or tuesday.

Well thats all for now folks!

Wednesday, February 01, 2006

Timing is everything

Just as dh was leaning toward moving out west in minnesota, the chicago job posting is up. So now we really are at that crossroads, which option do we pursue, do we go for both and see which pans out? While at the same time preparing to stay here (picking a school for k in the fall) etc etc.

I dont know, I do know that I want to move for several reasons. One of the main ones is this old house, it needs more repair and care than we have time or skills to give it. Second is we want out of the city and want more room for the kids to run. 3rd is we need more space, more useable space like a basemetn and garage, we are fast outgrowing where we are. and last im ready for small town living again :) I grew up in a small town and I miss that.

I miss knowing the weekend rummage sales just blocks apart, not miles or neighborhoods apart like they are here. I miss feeling like its okay to send the kids to the park without feeling like they are goign to be shot. I miss the small town community feel.

So I think its time, time to move, whether we go out west or to chicago, I think its time to go.